Chase Joy 100 Ways

The Story

April 02, 2020 Nicole Groenewald Season 1 Episode 1
Chase Joy 100 Ways
The Story
Chapters
Chase Joy 100 Ways
The Story
Apr 02, 2020 Season 1 Episode 1
Nicole Groenewald

In this episode, I share the story of how Authentic Sisterhood came to be a thing and a little about what you can expect from this podcast.

I want to help you Chase joy!

Come find me on Facebook and Instagram.

Check out the Academy here!

Music: Purple-Planet.com

Support the show (https://paypal.me/chasejoy100ways?locale.x=en_US)

Show Notes Transcript

In this episode, I share the story of how Authentic Sisterhood came to be a thing and a little about what you can expect from this podcast.

I want to help you Chase joy!

Come find me on Facebook and Instagram.

Check out the Academy here!

Music: Purple-Planet.com

Support the show (https://paypal.me/chasejoy100ways?locale.x=en_US)

Nicole Groenewald:   0:00
welcome to the authentic sisterhood podcast. Michael is inspiring to chase joy. No matter the difficulties you face in life through self discovery, personal growth and finding community in connection, you too can become a joy chaser. I'm your host, Nicole. Welcome to the sister. I'm really excited to get to share with you today about how this whole thing came to be and she with you a little bit about what you can expect from this podcast, I guess. First, I should start with my biggest hope from this podcast from all the things I do, I'm all over on social media. I have an academy from all these things. My hope is to inspire you to cheese joy in every area of your life, no matter what that looks like. So I want to share a little bit about how I got to be so passionate about chasing joy. And I think something that I just didn't really realize until a couple of years ago was that you can't just expect joy to fall in your lap. Every once in a while, you get lucky, and it does. But to really live a truly joyful life, you have to chase it, you have to run after it. And there isn't many longings deeper to the human existence than the longing for joy all along for joy. And I'm not talking about a fleeting happiness I'm talking about, like, truly, joyfully satisfied in your life like those moments were just, like, so content with the beauty of your life around you and prior to if you use ago if you were to ask me, have moments where I had that, like, things were just really good right now. And I love life. Even if there is maybe some hard things going on, I maybe could have come to them. On one hand, I really wouldn't have described me as a joyful person or even a person who really might have even been able to recognize joy because it was just so foreign to me. And so I'm gonna tell you the story about how all that changed and how I hope Thio help you on your journey to enjoy whether maybe you're like me and you really can't even really relate to the feeling of joy or, um, maybe you feel like you're a fairly joyful person, but you're always up for more. Uh, either way, I think you'll love this podcast and wanna come check out more of what we've got going on. So I'm saving to the story a little bit. So I told you, like, I just I really didn't know what joy looked like. I really struggled with joy. Um, but the day that we've found out we were pregnant with my son was definitely, like, overwhelming joy. I cried. Um, we had been trying for almost three years to get pregnant. Um, we had just started. Well, we were just about to start doing fertility treatments. That was the month that we said we were going to. And then, um, one of the precursor things is we thought that if we could address my sleep apnea, that would help for a better pregnancy. I help your pregnancy and, um, the IV. And he had suggested that I might have a quick surgery on my nose to help open up the airways because I basically was breathing for a straw for my nose all the time. Coffee size stirring straw. So I had that surgery that kind of open things up, fix a deviated septum and, um that ended up being scheduled the same day that I was supposed to go in for an ultrasound for you. Why? And they said, you know what? Let's just go ahead and put off for next month so that you don't have both things going on at the same time. So we put it off and then, um, about to explode later, we found out that I was expecting so that was a pleasant surprise. And we didn't have to d'oh you. I which was great and that those first few months were amazing. It was just like so much bliss like that. I was finally pregnant. It was so weird. Like I kept having a pinch myself like, Is this really really? Because they've been longing for this first so long? It was a little bit of an uncomfortable first pregnancy. I wasn't in the best health, so my like I hadn't been exercising regularly and things. And so my hips really struggled to adjust with all the movements and the hormone changes. And my body is a hole. I just didn't feel that great, but I was still just like I don't really care, because I'm growing a tiny human inside me, and this is amazing. But all of that changed at our 20 week ultrasound. The tech and the doctor had some concerns about the heart, but they didn't really elaborate too much. We were sentenced for a feel echo, which is like where they dio Aah! An echocardiogram like a specific kind of ultrasound on the heart. And the cardiologists is doing that exam of the baby. And at that appointment, I was still kind of just in denial. I really couldn't possibly believe that anything could be wrong with this baby because he was my miracle. He was he We've been praying for so long for him, like, how could anything possibly be wrong? So I was just in complete denial that anything was wrong. And so I chatted with attacks like I really didn't like. I just thought, you know, we're just going through is to be cautious, but there's nothing wrong. And then the doctor took us and tow like this other room to sit us down and tell us the results of the echo. And, um, he told us that our son had hypoplastic left heart syndrome, basically the left side of his heart didn't develop at all. Um, and at this point in development, that meant it really wasn't going Thio. And our first option was to have an abortion. Um, I barely heard the rest of what he said for the remainder of that to our conversation, but the one thing I did here was that there was some other options that we could go home on hospice after he's born. And we could just let nature take its course and to enjoy the time we had with him. Or we could do with called palliative care where he would have some surgical procedures. But it wouldn't be a cure. His his body would always have some extra challenges and struggles, and there's basically he'll be chronically ill his whole life. Um, there's problems with multi organ failure later on in life around thirties and forties. But there's still like the kids who first had these procedures done her now, just like getting into their thirties and forties. So there's there's advances in technology and things that, like we just really can't predict what that look like for him. But he had, like a 65% chance to live to the age of five. He told us a lot more in that appointment. I really couldn't tell you what more Because we were there for two hours. But I I just remember getting out to the car and calling my mom and just sobbing. I was crying so hard that I'm not sure it like I could even really clearly tell her what was going on. But we were just devastated air and so confused. Like how? How could our miracle be broken? How could the answer to our prayers be not what we thought it Waas and I was just I was so confused and conflicted, and I was angry at God. And then, you know, I'd still then have these moments of like, but I am pregnant, and that's a miracle in and of itself. And they love him so much. And we knew, like we didn't even have to talk about it. We knew we were going to go the direction of palliative care because that gave God the most chance for miracles. And so that was kind of the beginning of just like we're gonna choose hope we're going to choose that. Um we're gonna give God the most space to do what he wants in our son's life, and we're gonna anxiously watching the watch that in expectation. So that first month, really we we took a space to grieve. We both processed very differently, and we kind of gave each other space to grieve. So we kind of like there was some distance in our marriage. But I felt like it was a good, like the way we processed was really healthy. And then around the end of that month, we said, OK, it's time to move on. It's time to start making some different choices about how we feel and how we look, because I knew that I had heard that the baby, when you're pregnant, can feel your emotions. And I didn't want him to come into this world with me feeling grief, me, feeling sadness, like I was a worried that me having all those negative emotions would set him up to not fight. And so I felt like I needed to stir up fight and me, start up faith in the stirrup belief and stir up hope. And so that was really the first time that I had Thio, I realized that I was in control of my emotions. I could choose my emotions, and I didn't have to just live by the whims of whatever happened. So I started to explore what things I could do to change my emotional state. I knew that going for walks was really helpful, and around that same time I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. So I had to be a little bit more intentional about my diet. I had to be a little bit more intentional about my activity levels, and that was really beneficial for helping me set myself up each day, for I'm just having a different energy about things. But music was also transformational. I generally like music isn't always a go to thing for me, but in moments of heavy emotion, I have always found it to be a comfort, Um, and so there was a few songs that I just really gravitated towards, and it got to the point where sometimes when I was in my car, I couldn't listen to music because it would make me so emotional. But then there was also times where that was just like the only thing that would help her fix what was going on. I remember specifically, I was driving on the freeway. We lived in Salt Lake City at the time, and there's a road that goes like in a circle around the city. And I I was in a weird kind of spot where it's kind of out out of town a little bit, so it's a little bit more scenic. And the song, um, Miracles by Danny Gokey came on, and I just balls like I was bawling so hard I had to pull off the freeway because I couldn't see the road. And my heart just was praying and longing and clinging that God would bring a miracle and he'll Henry's heart. And when he was born, it wouldn't be a CZ bleak, as the doctors had originally said, we also at the same time where my husband had been laid off in November and this was now about February and he hadn't been able to find work. He'd applied for probably like, 50 jobs at that point and not had any interviews, and I was working part time as a home health nurse. But we knew that, like with living in the hospital and like our current situation like we couldn't pay right as it waas. Ah, my mom was having help, right? Pay rent And in Salt Lake City, like, the cost of living is so high. And we just really didn't know what we were going to do, how we were gonna be able to afford anything. Our lease was up. Um, like, the day before his do day and they were not extending our lease. I forget why. I think it was like they were going to remodel or I don't remember. But they weren't extending our lease, so we had to move. So there was, like, all these different things that just like I there was so much pressure, and we we had no idea We're gonna d'oh! And we were just literally living in the hope of like, God, God was gonna carry us. My mom eventually, uh, invited us to calmly with her. She lived in Houston, um, and wasn't far away from Texas Children's. And they're the number one pediatric cardiac center in the country. So we moved in with her about a month before Henry was d'oh and transferred all of our care and insurance and everything. It was a massive paperwork, and we were able to get in and see them and get one more echo, an ultrasound and all of that. And then a week before my due day, I was induced and give birth to Henry on April 25th. And I didn't get to hold him right away. Ah, he was stable. He was fine. But apparently they're policy there. Is that you can't You don't get that golden hour. Um, so they rushed him over to the I C. U. And they did another echo. They got him hooked up Thio all these different monitors and medications and placed all these lines and everything. And I was recovering from, um, labor, so I wasn't able to go over with him right away. My husband was supposed to go, but he passed out. Apparently, we missed the conversation where blood was involved with birth. So he was a little bit working through that at the time. My mom was with us, so she went over to the I. C with Henry and stayed with him through that time. Um, I was able to get some rest and then head over. Um, but I wasn't allowed to hold him because he had Sum's some lines that required him to be very still. They were very fragile lines, and so I wasn't able to hold him. I had to just kind of, uh I could put my hands on him. He wasn't in an incubator so I could get right up close to him. But with all the lines and everything, I couldn't pick him up and my mama hurt just broke. I was so devastated. I like my heart just long, generous. Emmett, hold him like that's all I wanted to dio air and the fact that I couldn't do it just like start up all these crazy emotions. And I was so angry and so frustrated on DDE. I felt like a bad mom. And I like it's hard to even articulate all the emotions that I was feeling in that time, Um and honestly, a little bit hard to remember them because I don't often allow myself to think back to these times because it it was wrenching, like I've never felt so many emotions so deep from my core. And so that day I got some rest I got some food. And then that night, the night shift owners offered to allow me to hold him. Um, and I'm so grateful to her because it's not She kind of she did get permission for it, but it's not really standard practice, But I was able to hold him and like she helped me, like with all the lines and all the tubing and all the wires and everything. We got him situated, and she was able to make sure that he stayed safe. Um, and I got to hold him for, like, an hour and just rock him, and I cried over him. I prayed over him. I saying to him, Um, I wanted so long. I wanted so bad to nurse. And it's funny. He came out starving, um, at like, right after he came out, as they were doing all their assessments and getting him stable and everything in the room in the delivery room. Um, he was sucking on the nurse's finger so hard that I could hear the second nurses from across the room. So the poor child came out starving, but because they knew he'd be having surgery soon, they didn't know exactly When I think at that point we did know it was gonna be the next morning. Um, but because of that, he couldn't ingest anything, so they had put him on i v nutrition T p n. Um, but he still, like, wanted to nurse. And so, as I held him, he was rooting and, you know, trying to nurse and broke my heart even more to not be able to allow him to do that. But he was hungry, Little Chunk. But I'm so thankful to that nurse for allowing me that timeto hold him in that time with him because he had surgery the next day and I didn't know if I'd ever be able to hold him again. Um, so I like that moment of being able to hold him is still so precious to me. And the next day, he had surgery and he came out awesome. He didn't have any complications. He did fantastic. Our journey didn't end there. He still had another hope. Open heart surgery leader. That year we ended up having a place of feeding tube there. You know all these different challenges. And now, even still, he's behind on gross motor skills. He doesn't walk, and he's almost too. But otherwise he is. Ah, happy, thriving. Terrible twos to almost two year old. He talks. He, uh, you actually the void. The baby voice you heard in the intro is him. Um, he's talking. He does. He's crawling and walks with assistance. You just can't walk on his own. He's he's doing great. He is. He's developmentally on track in all other areas. And we're just so proud of him. And, um, that journey, though off, like having to choose joy in my pregnancy. And then, as we continued on in his journey, fighting through those nine months in the hospital, in and out, we were in there continuously, but nine months in and out. And then my husband fell and shattered his leg like right after Henry had become stable and we were home for a little bit and he couldn't walk for two months. Eso I had to care for him and for Henry, it was exhausting. And Henry was on middle of the night feeds. He was on middle of the night meds, so I wasn't sleeping. It was it was a really hard journey, But all through it. I had learned that lesson to my pregnancy. To chase joy. I had learned that I could choose my emotions and that when I chose different emotions that what I might have been feeling that didn't serve me at the time. It set me up for a better day. It set me up for a better week, and it put us on a path that was better than what it might have been if I had just allowed my emotions to sway me. And I remember when I was pregnant we had got in what's called a joy bag from this organization. I think it's joy. Joy for Kate, inner off to look it up. I don't quite remember, but basically that family did lose their child to the same condition that Henry had. But she have learned joy through the loss of him, and I wanted to help families to choose, join their pregnancy, that they could be joyful even in the grief that they were experiencing that their normal wouldn't be normal. Um, it was going to be different, and so that was kind of the inspiration. A little bit Thio, um you know, continuing to choose joy and learning that process as I began to understand more that this being able thio advocate from joy being able thio, um, care for my son enjoy. Even when I was feeling anxiety or worry or grief or some of these negative emotions, the fact that I could choose Joy really was so transformational, and I wanted to share that with other mamas who were going through the same thing. And so I started a blogged. Eventually, I also started a podcast. I started doing a couple of different things to try and help moments who were in the same situation, but I struggled to know exactly how it could help them. Um, I didn't quite have my wording as clear as I do now. There is a mom's of heart podcast, and if you go back and listen to some of the beginning episodes, you'll see. Like I was really unclear about what I was doing. I couldn't quite make sense of it. But as I continued to press on and fight for joy in my business is, well, I began Thio really clearly articulate, wet my goal and what my mission Waas and ultimately I knew I wanted Thio help others chase joy. And initially, though, that started with moms with kids with heart conditions. It then expanded to Mom's of special Needs kids because I realized that Mom's of special needs kids, no matter what the challenges need. Joy and the way that I was helping them chase Joy would work, too. And then, as we began to grow and I began to get more clear on how I was doing what I was doing, I realized this isn't just for special needs moms. This is for anyone who wants to chase joy. This is for anyone who was really struggling with negative emotions dictating your life, and I feel more comfortable working with women. And so that's kind of how authentic sisterhood came to be. And the name authentic Sisterhood comes from the fact that you have to authentically acknowledge that you're not feeling joy, and, um, then you have Thio find ways to chase that you, um, have to acknowledge your weaknesses, your struggles. You have thio. You have to come from a place of authenticity. Otherwise, you can't experience joy at what you experience is fake. It's artificial. You can't experience real human connection if you're coming from a place of inauthenticity. And so that was really where some of that came from, was just thinking and meditating on that. And at the same time, over the last few months, I've had some moments come to mind of thinking about times where I learned the value of authenticity in my life, and it's become even more true over the last few months of being online. People can tell when you're being authentic and when you're being fake, and so it's it's forced me to press into authenticity and what that means for me even more. And so that's kind of how it's not a really great story, but how that kind of came about. Now you find yourself in authentic stood. The podcast, which is not the first thing we've launched, were also on social media and have been there for a little bit. And, um, we have launched the academy and um, really the academy as a way that I can tangibly help you chase joy in a very specific area of your life. So and it's actually not me. I've partnered with some other joy chasers who our, um, their mission is to help others chase joy in specific areas of their lives. So, for example, I have a business coach that I've partnered with, and she helps others to taste joy through their business through confidence in helping you build your confidence. I've partnered with AH, home school coach who is a part time teacher, part time home school parent coach, and she helps others chase joy in the way that they home school their kids. I've partnered with ladies who help Mama's choose joy and the way that they prepped for mealtime and the way that they manage their home and housekeeping. So all these different areas, if there's an area of your life that doesn't give you joy, you can pop over to the academy, where you'll find a mentor who will give you specific, tangible tools in a really fun way to help you find more joy and that specific area of your life, as well as you'll be plugged into a community of ladies who were chasing joy in that same area of their life. So, for example, if you were to join Becky's spring into clean challenge, you will get Becky to mentor. You who, by the way, she is a joy chaser. Let me tell you, I love spending time with her and love chatting with her, but she will give you some really specific practical ways that you can find more joy in, You know, your spring cleaning, but then also finding some routines in your hawk housecleaning. At the same time, you'll be plugged into a community of other ladies who were also spring cleaning at the same time, so you can commiserates agai other about some of the challenges. But also you could support each other in learning how to de clutter and find a good cleaning routines and share what's working and ask for help with what's not. Um, so you get the community aspect as well. And we're really intentional in the way that we've created the courses within the academy to create connection to create relationships, because we know that, especially in this time of quarantine, that longing for connection and community is even deeper. But it's one of the things that culturally we really struggle with, and so the way that we've designed the courses is to intentionally help you create connections and friendships and our goal is that at the end of the course you have at least one new friend that you can go on and be friends with after the course is over. But we also hope that you'll come back and keep taking where courses, perhaps with that new friend, um, and keep learning and growing and chasing joy in different areas of her life. So I'm really excited about the academy. I love to have you come check it out. The link is in the description of this podcast episode, but you can also head over to authentic sisterhood academy dot com. Um, and that will give you all that you could ever need to know about the courses. And you could actually sign up right there for any of the courses that we have going on at the time. And you can also fire units are on Facebook and Instagram. There's an authentic sisterhood academy group that a Superfund. That's where I spend the most of my time. And I really love just connecting and engaging with the ladies in that group. So I'd really love to have you come join us over there on whatever social media platform you happen to be on. So if you are excited about chasing joy, if you were excited about the idea of authentic sisterhood, if you want to check out the academy, um, if you've enjoyed this podcast and hearing my story a little bit, I love it. If you could subscribe to this podcast, what that means is the next time an episode drops, you'll get a notification on whatever platform you happen to be listening on. But also there are currently about three episodes available. If you're listening to this bright when it releases, there are three other episodes, so you can take it a listen real quick. But if you're going back and listening to this later, if you subscribed and you'll just get the next episode. And if you're curious about the academy and you're not in a position where you can hop over and check out the website right now, what you can do is listen to the next episode. We've done some sneak peek videos with each of the course creators of that what's live right now. So if you're listening to this at a later time, some of these courses may not still be available or the content may have changed. But if you're listening about the time that this episode released, you can listen to the next episode. And I've taken the audio from each of those conversations with the course creators and put them together into one episode. Eso There's about seven courses that will go through to talk about and you can hear the conversations, hear the stories of the course creators. It's actually pretty fun episode, So just go ahead and listen to the next one and you'll get all the information and then you can hop over and sign up for the course. That sounds like it's the best fit for you right now and then. Also, if you could take a screenshot of the this episode on whatever player listening Thio posted to your instagram stories, tag me and tell me why you're excited about being a part of authentic sisterhood that will help this podcast to grow and our community to grow. And I'd also be able to say thank you for listening, and I love to connect with you and learn more about you in your story and your journey to joy. Thank you so much for listening. You can hop over to the next episode whenever you like.